Everything seems to be working against Claire’s plans for a new family portrait; Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer, leaving Mitchell home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.

An unexpected reality check dampens Jay’s plans for relaxation; Phil wants to make the trip romantic for Claire; the kids get into mischief when left to their own devices.

For Jay’s birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise — a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii — the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it’s a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.’s, security breaches and flying phobias.

Claire is suspicious when Phil’s father shows up for an expected visit; Manny is traumatized by a horror movie.

Luke and Manny’s hot-tempered basketball coach quits during a game, causing Jay and Phil to jockey to fill the position; Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer.

The release of a new product Phil wants coincides with his birthday; Mitchell has a newfound desire to toughen up; Cameron gets involved in a neighbor’s marital problems.

Jay and Mitchell go on their traditional father-and-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is upset when he finds out that Manny will be joining them. Cameron and Gloria spend some quality time together, with some minor incidents, while Phil and Claire both take on one of their child’s school projects.

Phil invites his high school girlfriend (Judy Greer) to the house; Jay accidentally kills Manny’s pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks; overworked Mitchell stands up to his boss.

Phil tries to conquer his fear of the dark when he and Luke go on a discovery expedition underneath the house; Mitchell and Cameron invite Lily’s pediatrician over for brunch.

Love is in the air and all the families are preparing for Valentine’s Day. Claire and Phil are planning a special trip. Meanwhile, Jay decides to take Gloria to a comedy show for some entertainment. Also, Cameron and Mitchell try to help Manny out by playing Cupid.

Claire is upset to find that her friend Valerie is better than her. In the meantime Mitchell helps Gloria with legal issues and Jay had a hard time in the locker room.

Mitchell makes Jay think that Shorty, an old friend, might be gay. Jay doesn’t think it’s true at first, but he begins to believe it after seeing several questionable signs. Meanwhile, Manny’s date gets a makeover from Gloria. Elsewhere, Claire fights with Phil’s universal remote.

Mitchell plants the seed in Jay’s head that he thinks one of Jay’s old buddies, Shorty, might be secretly gay. Jay doesn’t believe it for a second… except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny’s date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil’s universal remote.

Gloria is unnerved by the arrival of Javier (Benjamin Bratt), her ex and Manny’s notoriously untrustworthy father; Claire takes action when Phil suffers from kidney stones; Mitchell and Cameron try to sleep-train Lily.

Claire and Phil threaten to take away Christmas when the kids get in trouble; Cameron and Mitchell take Lily to get her first picture with Santa.

Phil and Claire throw Luke the biggest and best birthday that he could want. However, Cameron arrives as Fizbo, the clown, who triggers a chain of events that leads to someone ending up in the hospital.

With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present – a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine! However, it turns out to be a surprise in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their party-girl bestie, Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.

Manny becomes interested in fencing and the whole family comes out to cheer him on. However, with Jay being so interested in Manny’s success at fencing, Mitchell’s old childhood wound is triggered. Meanwhile, Phil tries to see if Luke has any hidden talents of his own

It’s the first day of school for the families. With all of the kids out of the house, Phil misreads how Claire is dealing with the empty house. Jay and Gloria have a disagreement over Manny’s choice of an outfit for his first day of school. Also, Mitchell and Cameron become very upset when they find out that Lily suffered her first bump to the head.

Tensions rise during a day of barbecue and football at Jay and Gloria’s in the wake of an incident between Manny and Luke at school.